I need to pee

Well my room needs major cleaning!

Like major! My bed has all these clothes on it LOL I shoved to one side of the bed and I sleep on the other half! I just havent had time to fold my clothes.

Anyway! I finally did work in my free period! About time! Because for the past two weeks I've been bludging!

Anyway! Yeah I actually do need to pee! I did some work tonight! Although it is not enough!

Anyway! There's this guy right? When I first saw him I found him weirdly interesting! I still do by the way! Well anyway! funny thing is! I had a feeling he was a smoker. His cough just gave it away! What do you know? This morning? He was smoking! I was like =O It look like he was trying to like get my attention with his smoke, but I was like too depressed this morning! Inceidents of last night! Which I now think was a total over reaction!

Yeah story of my life!

I still find that guy really interesting! Will I ever reveal who I am talking about? NEVER!

I have found peace! FINALLY!! Its funny the things that will motivate you! It could even be really weird! Example? One of my girls Nat? She finds her highlighters to be motivating! See what I mean by "weird things motivate you"

Anyway! This is all I have time for! I have to read fmylife stories...Keyword HAVE!

That is all

PMS

Let me just say! Hormones suck! Vita piss me off! YEAH FUCKING DICKHEAD! But I ouldnt show it to him! Even though I really wanted to! All I said was Im off Bye!....Fucking I dont know if he was being an asshole because his friend was there? Or he was just being a FUCKHEAD!! Seriously! I cant wait till he fucking replies...NIGGA I dont give a shit if he doesnt wanna hear it! His gonna hear it and Im out! He can suck a fat one for all I fucking care! Im sick of his shit! He just shit me really badly on msn tonight! Hopefully Im just overreacting because its that time of the month!!...which btw Im pmsing it left right and centre every 10 seconds im getting pissed off! Seriously!?? Im too good for that fuckwit! HOPE HE READS THIS!!...dought it though!
SERIOUSLY! FUCKING HELL IM SOO FUCKING ANGUS!

Im so fucking sick of your shit! I wish you would grow up, you immature PIECE OF SHIT! Seriously! You think your all that! Your NOT!! Your not even HOT! I know how much of an asshole you can be! and I hate seeing that side to you! Why am I still holding on? Because I love the other side to you! FUCKING ASSHOLE!! FUCK IT UP so I can get over you! Seriously if I find out youve been wasting my time? Someone better stop me from doing something! Because yeah...I wont! This is actually quite calming! I'm getting less angrier by the minute! Why would you waste my time like that, and play with my mind! WELL NO MORE OF THAT SHIT! because the truth comes out very soon! And when it does? I will know wether to stay or completely go...I seriously cant have you as a friend! Its either more? or GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE! I need to know the truth about where your at! I wish you would grow a pair of balls!

That is all Vita!

There's a blessing in the storm!

Well, there was an incident right before church! It made me see how true the saying "everything happens for a reason" is. Yeah CBF giving details!

Anyay! I saw my cousins FINALLY!! it was seriously heaven! LOLOL!! I missed them HARD! But I miss my Big Mamma, she couldnt make it to church! Anyway! I shall keep this blog short! So I can either clean my room! OR do some work!

I really need to get updates on my cousins!

Ohhh stuff it! Im not bothered! I just want to stay in here and chill in the lounge! Where its warm

Anyway! Im goin to go on facebook and bebo and msn! And chat away there!

That is all

(what waste of time blog!)

Sunday Afternoon

Well, lets see. What to talk about....

You know sometimes I forget that this is really public? and ANYONE can read it? But Yeah I dought heaps of people read mine!!

I have not done any work this week end. Lucky for me the weekend is not at its end jus yet! =)

Well, I wish I knew what people thought of me! Like I wish I could really read their minds, like Edward in "Twilight" (I can not wait to read the book and watch the next movie).
Well I wish people could be straight up about things! Espeacially guys! Like seriously? From my own experiences, I've noticed that their the BIGGEST bunch of DROP NUTS around.

They are really! Well maybeI just have'nt met a guy that has more balls then I do! I am being serious! Maybe I'm just abit too ruthless! But we're young =) Anyway! LMAO!

I think my dad finds me annoyin LOL! I do it on purpose! I think my dad would be really bored with out me! My mum doesnt really talk to him, though he does try to talk to her LOL! ( dont tell them I blogged about this, actually they dont even know I blog (=) Then I come along and try to verse him in thumb wrestling (I always win) Then I will chat about my day and force him to listen! He literally strts snoring! I just start talking really loud and tell him to pay attention! LMAO!!!

He hates it when I'm on the phone! His just tripping because it might be another boyfriend! LOLOL! When its one of my guy friends, I always call them Peejay! LMAO! Because my parents know that we still talk and stuff!

Well I have to get ready for church soon!

havent been to church in three weeks! So yeah! I miss church peeps and my cousins! I barely see them! Because of school! Anyway! I seriously need to clean my room! Because yeah it just needs cleaning!

Hey you know I still havent touched a ciggarette? It's almost a month! I think I can do it! But only my dad knows and people at school!

OMGOSH! David thinks I'm "Bonita" =D...HAPPY KID! LOLOL! You know? I could never actually have a thing for this dude. It feels like disrespectful to my mate! But then again I cant help but 'rub tables' HAHAHA.....AWW

Well OML! you know I have kept 10 buks in my draw for a month? I completely forgot about it until I was thinking about going to the movies with my brothers n the holidays! I was thinking "SHIT I have no money" Then remembered the 10 buks that I had kept. Its so cool being able to keep 10 buks because I use to always spend it on smokes! And now that I dont smoke! I have money =) See smokers find that annoying. Nt being able to do things because hey cant help but spend their money on smokes. But they would rather have smokes then spend it on something and have no smokes! LOL! I fuly remember what its like. Maybe because its only been a month!

I see my cousins today! Do I continue to lie?? What do I say!? UMM I'm sick!! OR! I just had alot before I came to church! Now I feel sick!! There we go!! I have two lies!! ready and prepared for when and if they offer me smokes!

I seriously love blogging! I think its because at home? I dont have any of my siblings to talk to! And my parents? I dont talk about this sort of stuff with them. I'm glad my dad didnt tell my mum tht I quit! I think because he is an ex smoker, he knows what my mums like when your trying to quit smoking! She gets annoying and makes you feel like just starting up again for the simple fact that she wont leave you be!

Anyway

That is all

day of headaches

This morning I woke up at about 10:00am. I got up to discover a massive headache!! So i layed down listening to music hoping it would go away!...It didn't!
Took a shower and washed my hair...which I must say DID NOT HELP my headache at all! I went to the kitchen preparing breakfast farrr man my head was like BAD!!!
After I ate breakfast I went straight to bed! Trying to go to sleep, I couldnt. So you know what I did all day? Read fmylife stories!! ALL DAY!!

Anyway! I can't believe I didnt blog last night!

Boys! I don't get them! But then again they don't get us either! Well my dad?? Last night I warned him that this month my moddswings will be bad! LMAO!! and ever since! I've been chucking moodswings on my dad ALL DAY!! He said something to me and I didnt want to talk so I just looked away! He goes to me "I don't get women! They get angry over nothing you and mum walk around the house grumpy all day EVERYDAY!" Instead of getting angry! I LAUGHED HYSTERICALLY!! I couldnt stop laughing!! and soon my dad joined me in laughing! We laughed for a good 5 minutes!

Anyway! I still have no clue what to write to him!....My mate reckons I should make dot points about the way it is! But I dont know! I wanna response first!

You know whats dumb? I use to always say to him that patience is a virtue, because he was always impatient about things! But I think I've become very impatient! I think I am impatient! VERY! SOO!!! HURRY THE FUCK UP!!

Anyway! Plans for tonight! Ima watch TV like a TV freak! FOXTEL WOOHOOO!! LOVE YOU! ONE PROBLEM!!! I have no choklate =(

That is all

STRESS,PISSY & HAPPY (bitch fit)

Like seriously right now? I'm really happy because I have FINALLY completed my core composition. I have been working on this ever since the start of year 12, which was last year! It is finally COMPLETE!! WOOOHHHOOOO

Anyway! My dad pissed me off tonight! He really did. So I was pretty much rude back to my dad. I'm sick of him being an asshole! So i just be BITCH right back! Yeah difficult kid much? But I go to my dad "YAY I'm going musical on Friday, I think mum will be coming as well." He goes to me " You always seem to focusing on music more then any other subject." I was like "Actually I don't spend that much time on music."(trying not to get angry). His response "Yeah...all you do is music blah blah I know how much time you spend on music." LIKE CORRECTION DO YOU FUCKING WATCH ME WHEN I STUDY? ARE YOU THERE WITH ME AT SCHOOL? My actual response lol "Actually I spend no time on music! Only class time. I should be doing more music because my assessment is at the end of the term" His response: " YOU NEVER SAY ANYTHING ABOUT STAYING BACK AT SCHOOL FOR ENGLISH OR THAT YOUR DOING ANYTHING FOR BUSINESS" I was outraged at this statement! I responded in the same tone of voice "ACTUALLY I StAY BACK AT SCHOOL FOR DANCE AND I'M GOING TO START STAYING BACK ON MONDAYS FOR DANCE AND ENGLISH AND I'M GOING TO THAT BUSINESS STUDIES SEMINAR ON THE HOLIDAYS, SO DONT BE SO CLOSED MINDED JUST BECAUSE YOUR NOT INTERESTED IN MUSIC" I was surprised he didn't just get up and hit me...instead?? He mumbled to himself like a little kid! ARRGGGHHHHH he gets me so angry sometimes! I gave both him and my mum silent treatment! My mum actually didn't do anything but I couldn't help but take it out on her too. GOSH! I have issues! I don't care he pissed me off, and I just really needed to blog my hissy fit!

I hate closed minded people! People that only agree to what they think. If this isnt done the way they do it, then its WRONG! Like seriously just go suck on a fat one and SHUT YOUR MOUTHS!! I truly despise closed minded people! I also hate hypocrites. If you do something, don't tell someone else not to! Like seriously just FUCK OFF and mind your own business! People give me the shits when they look at other people but don't look at them selves! Like if its for a laugh? then fine? But if your hating on them and being judgmental when you don't know shit? It just SHITS ME!

I know I might not make sense right now because I'm just speaking out of anger! So YEAH! I never make sense!

Seriously my dad fucking pisses me off! He can be the BIGGEST ass hole! He thinks he knows. He reckon he knows EVERYTHING about me. You never know he probably even thinks I'm a undercover SLUT! FUCK YOU ASS HOLE!! ARRGGGHHHHH you don't understand how shitty I am. You may not understand, but there is alot more to this! But it's not like I'm gonna blog about it! ARGGHHHHHH...I swear thats the only thing I can say right now!

Seriously? FUCK YOU!

It's not enough! Serously I'm sick of being taken for granted! And even though his not as bad as he was before...the only reason for that is because I threatened to move back to Claymore. That's when he started to get nice! But when his an ass hole like even just a little it just BURNS ME!!! FUCKING BURNS ME LIKE FUCKING MOTHER FUCKER!!! FUUUCCCCKKKKKK!!!!
He doesn't understand what its like to be the kid thats not really your FUCKING kid! I miss my family! I really want to see them. I can;t go see them WHY? because they're FUCKED IN THE HEAD!! SERIOUSLY!!....no comment!

CHANGE THE SUBJECT! I feel abit better now! I shed a tear writing that! (= I feel a lot better =) It feels good when I cry, because I hold my tears back alot! I refuse to cry! But when I do? It feels like a relief! LOLOL!!....yeah ANYWAY!

Still no response! I'm glad there hasnt been a response, because its giving me more time to think! and prepare myself for anything! Anway! I really need to stop being a depressed kid and just stick it out! This is a great way of letting it out! Anyway!

That is all LOLOL

3 minutes to write

what to write in 3 minutes?? FARR!! thinking.....

Well still waiting on response!! I know you dont know what I'm on about but yeah! Its personal!
Even though....I don't knw where I was going with that sentence! Anyway!

I've been doing lots of work! Don't know if sending that mail was right! I mean I'm just going to wait for the response!! I'm sorry...you must be REALLY lost!!! I have one minute!!

More like seconds! I shall stop here =(

That is all

Monkey time

Well, today was interesting!

I had a weird dream. I did something last night. I think it was the right thing to do as well! But I can only wait to see how it will result!

Okay Best friends?

I knew it! Best friends, don't work out! Really they don't!
The whole bestfriend thing is just really a tittle. Then they go over board with how close they are like sisters!Well I've had many best friends actually! My first? Nazli...and look at us now! Were not that close no more. Though we still do talk!I can't remember what happened...nothing bad...we just drifted!Well yeah bestfriends come and go! They really do. I'm just saying this due to my own experiences.

My last best friend taught me a very valuable lesson.
you can't trust anyone, not even your bestfriend!
Mayb it was just her because I can trust alot of my friends!
But my bestfriend? I will never trust her again! She's just lucky I'm not an imature little shit! Anyway I'm going to avoid continuing because it's just getting me abit angry now!

This is exactly why I don't believe in the saying "Bro's before hoes". Meaning your friends come first before your boyfriend/girlfriend. See the thing is, boy/girlfriends may come in and out of your life, but so do your friends. Only bro's that you can put first is pretty much your family!

Anyway! I sense change in myself! Maybe the girls, and their influences! Just hope its change for the better! Well so far...it has been! I have not done work all day today! I guess I'm sort of taking a break! But I'm starting to feel the pressure and stresses of school. My assesments are finished too. I think because I still got music. See the thing is, I'm still really use to singing easy songs for music and ACEING it, just like that. But it;s not going to work this time. I have to fully sing my lungs out! But the thing is? My throat kills when I try! I need to practice! Farr It's making me really anxious because I don't want to lose my rank in the class. I've done well so far! I can't blow it. I seriously have never gotten a 'B' in practical assesments! I'm always up in the 'A' department. But now I'm at risk of getting a 'B' or even a 'C'. Like if this was english I would be quite happy with a 'B' but music?? I's just not on!

My friends are goin through some stuff. I can't get involved though! I mean I guess I could, but I don't like getting involved in other peoples problems! Sometimes I can't help it when their my friends! Just hope nothing happens that will make me want to get involved! I'm really just going to hold it in, because problems are so not worth it this year. The year that's most important for me! I don't feel like I'm doing enough though! I need to do more. I need to do better! Espeacially in music! STUFF getting a 'B' man FUCK THAT!! I think I would cry! I would be depressed literally.

English sucks! and Business I need to study hard! Retail? I need to do the work! and Dance? I need to keep progressing. I'm getting there in dance. Performance should get better ever since I quit smoking!

THREE WEEKS today! It's been three weeks since I've had a smoke! So! I'm going to keep it up!

I told my dad the other night. I full regreted it after! I'm glad he hasn't said anything about it! Because I don't want him saying anything about it! The one thing that helps me continue to quit? is the fact that I have said to myself that if I want to. I can go back to it after Dance HSC. But then I'm thinking all that effort thrown away. But then again it's for HSC, but it would benefit my lifestyle if I didn't smoke.

It really is hard! The habbit was fun! and it made me happy! I know it's all in the mind but yeah the mind prety much controls you! So what the hell am I going to do? Anyway! I know someone will be happy but anxious when they get my mail!

That is all

I love my abo'z

Well, Kathy got me thinking last night! But right now? I don't have time to blog even though I really want to!!!.......UMMMMM I really wana say wun thing

I planned for this whole week? Not to go on bebo or facebook, OR youtube OR fmylife.com for the whole week until Friday!What wil I do instead? BLOG!!!

So I'm off to do studies!

That is all

Sunday morning

Reached another sunday. I can't believe I blogged so much last night and an error occurs. Anyway I think I'm actually bothered to blog about it. Won't be the same though! And plus I don't evn feel like mentioning what I mentioned last night!

You know what I think you can trust people! You know how everyone say "you can't trust anyone". I think people have too high expectations! I don't know where I am going with this, so I'm just goin to change the subject.

I just got a email from bebo, so I'm gonna go chek it out...............

OML I just came back to start typing and I get another email! It's comments from channy and my cousin Umu! I shall be back LOLOL.......

Finally...Blog time!

Anyway! after this I'm going to eat brush my teeth and shower, then get on with straight up 4 hours of work! Then chill for the remainder of the Sunday. No church today! You never know I might blog again!

Anyway got another email....I shall be back!........

Anyway let's talk about Tongan funerals :) I don't know why! Maybe because I'm thinking about Martin's one. May he R.I.P.

Well when one dies, we have like this week for mourning. Umm there's services at night, at the house of the late persons family! And different churches will come to pray and give their condolences to the family. They do this by bringing mats and praying and singing....pastor reads out from the bible and then they go outside and get a feed, which is prepared by the family to gove to those that have come to offer their condolences. This happens for a week. Then the actual funeral! Preferably starts around 6:00pm and it's an all nighter. AGAIN different churches come in and pastor will preach then that chuch will leave to the hall to have a feed. Again prepared by the family. We have pretty big families so it's not so bad, cooking wise. Then everyone that stays the whole night just sings non stop while family line up to say goodbye! It's scary shit when you don't know the person. I hate kissing the dead when I don't know them. We get forced to, well no one forces me no more koz I'm big girl now =P LOL and they pretty much just sing until the next morning. At around 8:00am or 9:00am...pastor will come and there will be a church service. Then the coffin gets taken out and everyone goes to the burial! We have a little church ceremony there before burying them. Then everyone sleeps for the rest of the day! LOL.

I've had many people close to me pass away. First my uncle! I couldn't even go to his funeral. Then my great auntie. Man uncontrolable tears that night. I was the only one in my family that cried really bad, because she use to take care of me when I was young! And I remember everything! She was the best! We use to play cards and listen to old tongan music. Then...the worst of my losses! My dear beautiful little cousin! Kaloline (Caroline) she was 3! Man it killed my life, and still gets to me. I wrote a song for her. I must say it's the best song I've ever composed! Here it is:(just so you understand the first stanza, her father died! when she was one and the italics? is the chorus "stood on the road" she was hit by a car)

My little divine

At the age of three

she told her mamma

she's gonna go back home

to her father

her mamma never took any notice

koz she was only three

and now her mammas singing

these words to me

My little divine

by the name of Caroline

stood on the road

and said goodbye

we'll never get to see

how beautiful she would be

koz my little divine

left me to weep

Now I'm standing next to her

lying in her bed

I think about all the speacial moments

that we've gladly shared

now I wonder

what it would be like

if she was up and around

I can not stop these tears from falling

as I'm saying goodbye

I know you're up there

in heaven

looking down at me

watching me while I'm crying

over your body

I dedicate this song to you

through my tears

as I'm singing My little divine

till we meet again.

Anyway life goes on! its SERIOUSLY DOES!

I'm gonna eat and do everything I said I would!

That is all

FUK!

I wrote the longest blog of my life just then! And you knw what? I posted it and it said there was an error. I am not re typing that shit HONEST I think I had been typing for over half an hour. Fuk me dead!!

That is all

Friday

I'm so tired. I want to do work, but I am distracted at the thought of having a proper conversation with him. Didn't even end up jumping on! Anyway

School! Is my obsession plus the girls! I swear all we did at lunch was laugh. Espeacially at the story of Nat's uncle!

Anyway I'm too tired to write about my day.

Goodnight!

That is all'

Twilight

I finaly watched twilight. Can't stop thinking about it now! Unbelieveable actually! Because I didn't want to ever be drawn into it. I thought I could avoid it. Well watched it at a friends house today and I can not stop thinking about it. I really want to read the book. But I think I'll read the book after HSC is over. I also plan on not watching the next twilight movie, becuse I can't stop thinking about it. Judging through the comments my friends were making about the movie, the book seem like the way to go! Anyway. I'm really starting to get to know everyone in my crew. I mean I know Floral Milly and Malia pretty well. But Nat, Steph and Kathy!! I'm getting there. I mean I'm getting to know the little things about them which friends should know about each other! You pretty much figure it out on your own. But will I tell you what I know?? HELL TO THE NO! =P (suck on that!)

Anyway the funeral was PACKED! It was depressing. But an interesting experience, seeing as I've never been to any other sort ot funeral besides Tongan funerals, and mind you, I've been to countless funerals.

Seriously can't stop thinking about twilight. I really can't wait to read the book. I also can not wait to get sims 3, I don't mind buying it! Even though I COULDVE had it free =( GOSH!

Anyway! I still don't know when I will tell my parents that I quit smoking! I will tell them soon, but I'm just waiting for the time when I feel like I can handle their insecurities and the fact that they don't trust me! Anyway! I must write this because yeah! I have to say some one caught my eye today. I have no idea how my mate will react, but I will tell her tomorrow. I am actually currently attempting to tell her now, but she is not replying! Anyway! I am not blogging about it!

*touches tables*

Interested??

LOLOL anyway! I am going hard out! OML she replied I cn tell her. I just did!! WOOHOO...her response "WHAT! are you serious?" YAYY..I actually feel better! Anyway! my time is so limited! and I wanna stay on for forever!! I am actually quite embaressed at what I had to tell my mate, and also asked her not to repeat to the others, you know what? I change my mind, I don't care. All of them are going to find out tomorrow! =S AWWW for some reason I'm real embaressed by this!! LoOL

Anyway! HE IS SERIOUSLY....*touching tables*

Okaii the girls will know!

I'm off

That is all

R.I.P Martin

Okaii social life intruding again!

Seriously there is just too much shit going on!!

Too much for me to handle? NO ;) I'm on a role remember?

I did work today!!!

Anyway! I gotta do work RIGHT NOW!! and ignore people! GOODBYE!

That is all

I care

Today was so much action. This is what Ihave been craving for ever since I've been a seniour. I've just had the whole peace sign goin on for the past very long months! Anyway most of the action were my girls soo...nothing to talk about to YOU =P

But I will say. I am totally distracted. It's really bad. Well I know how to install sims 3. I just wont work for some handicap reason. I think its sign saying DONT EVEN THNK ABOUT IT ( bringing in more distractions)

Last night I didn't do anything. Tonight just as bad as yesterday THIS IS NOT ON!! I'm not happy! So I have decided I will stop trying to get sims 3, and seeing as it would distract me I won't even think of getting before HSC is over with. I'm aiming high. Just realised I can actually do it with abit more effort. I sort of doughted myelf but now? I'm on a role ;) best believe it! anyway! I get off on the fact that my parents don't rekon I can do it. They doought me, which is why I think I was doughting myself!

I gotta let go of my social life that's for sure. There is just to much socialness for a HSC student aiming for what I'm aiming for! LOLOL!! I have boy issues like any other girl. That doesn't help at all. But for now while we're not dating, I'm really gonna focus on school. But it also means I gotta neglect the girls sometimes =( Their sorta my world at the moment LOLOL!!! Gotta get my had in the books. Sorry if your sick of reading this but I'm trna rev myself up. It's working too! =)

Anyway. I haven't seen family in a long time. My friends are my family right now! I guess thats why school friends....you'll never find no other friends like them! Anyway OML

I wanted to blog this as soon as I saw it.

I was on the bus...I catch the bus everyday right? and for some time there has been a thing going on between these two people. Today while on the bus they were both sitiing in front of me. The chairs are side on and stuff so I was facing the chik and the guy was facing her. Sorry if you don't understand but anyway. I was sitting there listening to my mp3 not noticing anything but then the chiks phone went off...she got a message and as she was reading the guy was like full staring at her holding his phone in his hand and he was grining.....she wasnt!! She shoved her phone back in her poket and turne away from him completely. You should've seen his face. It' like he was lost!! He texte her again! She got the message and this time she looked at him with a dirty but he was looking outside the window. She shoved her face in her hand. It could only mean one thing. He looked angry he just sat there looking all angry and helpless! I felt sorry for her, LOLOL!! But I thought it was very interesing...at the fact that I knew what was going on and don't know them at all. Just shows body language says everything!!!

Anyway! I should do stuf!

Oh and my tittle? It' do with Vita! I read his mail....wish I could help! =( But can't so anything. I really wonder if he minds that I go through his stuff! I would ask, but don't want to risk being told off LOLOL!! anyway

That is all

BUM

Wow. Even though it was half a day today? It was real good to have the whole crew there.Except Steph wasn't there =(

We spoke about BOYS! Yeah number one topic, in a gurlie gurls convo ;) and school!

You know what? I love the girls. Honestly do you know how boring it was back where Floral Milly and I use to sit??

We would sit there....and do nothing say nothing. FUN at lunch was rare. It wasn't too bad for me because I smoked. Now I actually look forward to gossiping and talking about stuff that happen to us.

Anyway. I couldn't get sims3 because Nats USB ddnt have enough space =( NOT HAPPY! I have to look for anuther wun!! Or buy wun....MAN cbf buying my own!

GOSH! I'm going to go hard in the triple free tomorrow....because done jack shit tonight!!! Anyway I was on fmylife.com for about two hours today!! It's so addictive LOLOL!!
speaking of fmylife.com Ima jump on it before I go bed and chat away on msn....kathys not on =(

That is all

How incest!

I had the weirdest dream!

You know those dungeons with the endless stair cases? Well I dreamt that I was being led down one of those by this girl who was dressed in a long black cloak and she had brown long hair. She was holding those old fire things. You know that stick with the fire at the end. LMAO! Yeah well those. She was talking to me as we were going.

Next minute I was on a tiny island, and when I say tiny island? I literally mean tiny! I could lay on the island and cover it fully! That's how small it was. Anyway! My brother and I were jumping off theisland into the water. I saw a group of guys walking up toward the island. I knew one of them. Trey is his name, my cousins mate! Anyway I ignored them and kept jumping off the island.

Next minute we were in my school. My brother was tripping...I kissed him on the cheek and asked what was wrong. (Mind you I never kiss him on the cheek unless saying Hi or Bye) I even called him babe! =O and he was like, "nothings wrong" whilst continuing to look over in the direction of Trey and the other boys. We kept walking and I linked arms with him and he seemed terrified in a way! Like he couldn't relax!

I woke up thinking WAT THE FLYING FUK happened?? I'm still abit beweirded by the fact that in my dream I called my brother babe! I mean if it was my baby brother...fine! But my brothers only a year younger then me.

Anyway! that was weird! I know!

I went to sleep for most the day todday! We didn't go church! I was happy because I was tired!My dads sick!! Farrr I hope it's not my fault! =S I hope it wasn't me...koz it coukd get really bad....just abit worried!

Nothing can happen to my dad! Not this year!

Anyway! I have an addiction....and its bebo and facebook and blogging! LOLOL!

Anyway! tomorrow is school! I have to fix up my new folder...prepare it for tomorrow. So glad its only half a day tomorrow. I will not jig retail! LOL!! I find the last period a complete waste of time! Anyway! I'm goin to be a bit more of a net junkie then yeah! Still haven't fully cleaned my room! LOL cbf!!!

That is all

Sunday morning

I just thought I'd come on and blog....pretty much about nothing! I will be seeing family that I haven't seen in a long time! It's good that I don't see them though, because I think it would be really bad for my quiting....espeacially since I don't plan on telling them that I quit!

Anyway! It's almost two weeks....it will be two weeks on tuesday! since I've had a smoke. This is real easy! I just have to keep away from smokers! Anyway

Yesterday...was funny! When I went shopping I felt like I had never been shopping before, and it was my first time in two days to step out of the door to my house LOL! It was nice, luckily I wore glasses koz da sun was gona kil my eye balls!

Anyway! seriously I can't wait to get sims off Kathy! I swear it's all I been thinking about! Anyway!! FRIKEN I smell food!! it's making me real hungry!! Which eminds me. I STILL WEIGH BLOODY 68kgs! FAR OWT!! =( NOT HAPPY!!

Anyway I'm so much better....but this STUPID asthmatic feeling won't fuck off!! Including the dry coughs!! seriously im even starting to think that a smokers coughs better then a sick persons hahaha!

You know what?? I'm glad I quit smoking. But I don;t regret starting! Because I know pretty much every single trick there is for smokers, I know how they think!....SOOO goodluck to my kids starting up at a young age!! HEHE! Anyway!

I'm really hungry!

GOODMORNING

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Just a thought

Well, I am completely well! =D besides the non-stop coughing!!! and the feeling of still being tired! I still have to be carefull so I don't get sick again! LoL!! so maybe...I'm not fully well after all.

I think the fact that I didn't sleep until about 12 last night, and I woke up at 6 in the morning also contributes to the fact that I get tired easily!

Anyway! Had the maddest chat with Natalie last night! She made me see something that I completely didn't realise. It's actually not easy to explain! You don't understand how much help it was though! It's like freed me. GOSH! sounds corny....but the truth can come out like that sometimes LOLOL!!

Nat and I both confirmed that Kathy got us into saying LOLOL....although Nat was also an influence to me in saying "LOLOL".

Anyway I had this really bad issue! and Nat made me see that it wasn't that much of a big issue at all. That's not really explaining it well, and it sounds abit off LMAO!! oh well

Anyway! If you have read any of my previous blogs you would've seen that I had problems with my mother being a tight ass. WELLL!! today we went shopping. I spent $100 of her money. Now I felt bad. Like if it was my money I wouldn't have given a care!! but it was my mums money! and even though I hate it when she's tight, when she gives......she sure as hell gives!!! It made me feel really slack. But then again I don't work and she's my mum! So I guess that should make me feel abit better! LoL!

Anyway! I mailed my all time BESTIE Pjay about everything that's been going on, like Vita and the guy from that ball. LMAO!! you know what? that guy from the ball actually has a name! I've just never mentioned it. I always just called him "that dude" or whatever. LOLOL!! anyway his name is Leka! Anyway! She is so lost with my update! She thinks that there is a slight chance I might go for Leka....thing is...at the moment.....there is no chance at all. Thing is!!! She reminded me not to lead him on if I don't like him! =( I don't want to be slack. But its slacker to lead him on then to reject him and be upfront!! I always say that!! And now I'm in that persons shoes that has to do the rejecting!...don't like!!

Anyway! She knows the deal with Vita ad I SOO she was right LOLOL!
She's known the deal from the start! and I'm so fucking glad Nat oppened my eyes SERIOUSLY!! I feel like a whole weight has been liftef off my shoulders!!! I LOVE HER for it!!!

Anyway! I can't wait to see my girlies on Monday! Haven't chilled with them on a monday in a long time!

Anyway! My room needs to be cleaned of all the yukky sickness! I already washed my sheet thank goodness!! I just need to clean up the floor of the tissues! And vacume and blah blah!
I really want sims 3!! I really really want it =( hopefully get t from kathy abo on monday!!

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My Day

fmylife.com is BLOODY awesome! I loved it!! It was so hilarious! It was great just to lay in bed and read it and laugh my head off. I swear you should hear my laugh! It's all handicap! I can't laugh properly koz i start coughin.

Anyway! shopping tomorrow. GOSH!! I can't wait till I'm 100% better! Farr I so can not be fucked to go doctors tomorrow!! LMAO!! Anyway! I have nothing else to say LMAO!! What a waste of time.

One thing, I've noticed that there has been quite some activity at school =( GOSH!! can I not just miss out! =( ANYWAYS

I MISS YOU TOO KATHY!!

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HELLO!

WOW! I haven't been able to sit on the laptop due to being sick! But I am FINALLY better LOL!
Funny thing that happened in music that I must note down!

Music teacher "Are you guys coming to the Pirates musical?"
Class sits there, some say yes, some say no, and some say I don't know.
Music teacher"Please come, I need the money"
Class"BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA"

Anyway I must say being sick is so bloody boring. Even though I was sick and had a splitting headache...I still found it hard to sleep. In fact I didn't sleep well at all yesterday or even last night.....(internal dialogue) "Lay down shut your eyes. Fuck that up did ya?" haha LOVE IT! OML and I haven't FULLY recovered! OML I swear I jumped in the shower in the morning and bro I think my dad was gonna have a heart attack!! He was full like "YOUR GONNA HAVE A SHOWER?" angry face and all! But yeah I had a;ready asked my doctor if it was alright that I shower,because I know how my parents are. They think showers are illegal when your sick. But being in bed for ages and coughin and sneezing just doesn't feel pretty. Plus my room smells like sick people! EWWWWYYYY!!! I would open the window, but I think my dad would commit suicide! LoL! He would honestly go nuts!

I tried doing some work today? and honestly within 20 minutes I was exhausted LMAO! Like how handicap does that sound! Seriously I would shut my eyes and fall asleep! Got told off by my dad. He goes to me "You can't force yourself to get better you know" (serious face) I swear he always has to tell me off every day. Yesterday My mum wakes me up to see if I wanted anything from fairfield. I said McDonalds! So when my mum got back and I was eating my dad told me off for eating!! LMFAO, like WTH??? hahaha he was like "have you ever heard the saying feed a cold, starve a fever?" (serious face). I hate his serious face. It's so serious....sometimes I know how to break it. It's not easy though. Bro I'm already getting tired from typing this. But you know whats handicap? I'll shut my eyes right? and then I won't feel tired anymore!!

Amyway! Just after I was happy with my weight, I get sick and lose weight =( I hate it I was at 70kgs and I was happy being there, and now I'm down to 68. Might not seem much, but I like having control over my weight! Anyway! my appetit is really coming back because I'm getting more hungrier by the minute. Problem is I feel so weak to get up! GOSH! I know what its like to be old! LMAO!!

Why are you coming back? Why do you want me? When there's all these chicks that want you just as much! I don't understand!

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Stranger Danger!

It is 3:17am. I can't seem to go to sleep. I was woken up by my phone. Sometimes the reception in my room is really bad. People ring me but my phone won't ring? It'l just give me a message saying I have missed call LoL! Anyway that's what happen to me. I bet you it was that guy! from Saturday night. I hope it was juniour though. LMAO! I gotta message from juniour at like 10:30? But I didn't get it till I got the missed call. I hate it when messages lag.

My throat feels so, EWWYY like its just really uncomfortable, I hope my mum has money to get strepsils tomorrow! I mean today LoL!! What's worst? I have music today! Last night I was feeling sick enough to take a day off school. I haven't had a sick day this year! But I think I'm good enough to go to school.

Okay! There was something on my mind, but now I can't remember. I need to sleep or I'll be really tired tomorrow!

Last night I was really off. My motivation was all gone! But I think my motivation is back! My music is so motivating! LMAO!! I know its weird, but, at least I'm motivated

My quiting is going awesomely awesome. I haven't touched a smoke in over a week. I still have a long way to go in order to fully get it out of my system. They say it takes 18 months to fully get over your smoking habbits and cravings. My dad said that you know when cigarettes are out of your system. "You wake up one day, and when you smell the smell of cigarette you hate it" So yeah I haven't experienced that yet. Really I hate being sick! Atshma doesn't help. Smoking didn't either.

When I was in year 4 and my brother was in year 2? We wanted to try a smoke. So we had to wait for the chance to steal a smoke off my mum. My mum went toilet and she left her jacket on the couch. I went through her pockets. She had two left, I took one and told my brother the "good news" and we went upstairs into the room, shut the door open the window and turned on the fan and lit up the cigarette. I was literally bum puffing (not inhaling). LoL! We got busted because my other little brother who was in year 3, snitched on us. Me and my brother copped the cricket bat. LMAO! I guess my mum didn't want us to take up the habbit. Well it didn't help because Me, My little brother that I tried the smoe with AND my brother that snitched all smoke!! LoL!!...Well I don't anymore. If I can't reach 18 months, I at least want to finish practical HSC which isn't really far away, and then I'll let myself smoke if I want, or not. Depends I guess. I guess this is why I don't really want any of my family knowing that I don't smoke!

You know Tupac is the maddest. He may be gangster and blah blah but his lyrics....are AWESOME and true. Like for e.g "wonder why they call you bitch" I know the name may seem abit off, but the words are so true. He actually talks about the sad lives of skanks or prostitutes in a way. I'm trying to think of the lyrics...."Got your legs wide open while your sittin at the bar, talking to some nigga bout his car, I guess he said he had a Lexus, whats next? your heading to his car for some sex........tears a side, lord knows for years I tried......So many people on my block hate your guts, and you wonder why they stare and call you slut, it's like your mind don't understand, you don't have to kill your dream......keep your head up, legs closed, eyes open."(My favourite part of the lyrics).

Anyway I think I should try to go back to sleep.

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where's all the motivation?

I swear today after my first 3 periods. I completely lost motivation!!! and music is too easy LMAO!! don't need motivation because music itself is motivating! In business, whenever I ose motivtion. I think to myself lets play music! and get my mp3 and commence working whilst listening to my mp3. I swear my teacher turns a blind eye with me LMAO! maybe koz i confidently sit there with my ear phones in my ear!!! If its anyone else. Skuse me MUSIC OFF!!! LoL!Anyway! I've lost complete motivation to do anything!! I really can't be fucked. I don't know what is wrong with me today. I don't know where my motivations all gone?? anyway! I've already 2 hours and a half. Anyway I would blog some more, but I spent most my time on msn to Moe! LoL!! telling him about events of last weeks tears in heavan LMAO!! Barely talk to him now because of school. Anyway!

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MUSIC!! baby your my OBSESSION!!

I'm tired! I am going to study now and do homework. But before I start I thought I might jump on blogspot and blog abit LoL!

Anyway

The singer hasn't rung me...I'm GLAD! but something tells me he will call! FARR in the mean time, I have to think of what sort of bullshit I will tell him, in order for him not to call! But at the same time I don't wanna lead him on. Because I am SOO against leading people on. Now I have to think of a way to let him know that I am not interested! Farrr!

There's this guy that use to come to my primary! He added me on facebook today! I haven't seen him since year 6! I was so SHOCKED! but happy at the same time. He's changed tremendously! His hair his HOT!! I swear LMAO!! I love it haha!

UMMMM you know one time me and my cousin were having the BIGGEST argument on bebo!! He told me that he did'nt love me and I was like yeah you do. We weren't playing around by the way, we were being serious LMAO! and I started seeing girls say "ily" and I had no clue that is was an abreviation of "I love you" and I kept on asking him what it meant...LMAO!! now I know why he wouldn't tell me. I was full getting angry because he wouldn't tell me what it meant LMAO! Well I haven't spoken to that cousin of mine in a VERY long time. I don't know, he started snobing me, and I don't even think were actually cousins anyway!! LMAO!

Anyway you know when people say "ily" like that on bebo and facebook. to me it's like a casual way of saying it. The full feeling isn't really there LoL!! Well thats what I think! anyway I downloaded the meanest old school songs LMAO! anyway! I'm going to get back to studyin and homework.

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You'l always be my baby

Well FARR! I miss my family so much! But I can't chuck those sneaky ones! Maybe on the holidays I'll chuck a sneaky one up to claymore...meaning I'm going to pretend I'm doing something but really I'll be going to claymore! Anyway! I gotta keep my head in the books man! I swear its WEEK 7! LIKE WOOOAAAHHHH!! times ticking!!

Anyway!

I hate being so naive!! LMAO!! it sux...I wish I had all the experience in the world. and full knew what to do! and yeah you know what i mean?? But then again that would take aways bits of my innocence.

Is our female intuition always right? It is most the time. I wish they would experiment on it LMAO!! see how accurate our intuition is...LMAO!! its funny but would be interesting! LoL!


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CRACK UP!

I swear it was so funny!!!
I was downloading music and making some notes!!! Next minute my dad calls me to go to the lounge! and he goes. I was watching you last night. I was thinking OHHH SHIIITTTT!!!! LMAO!! and his lyk u were being caroled or whatever! (cornered) and then he goes he was cornering you! blah blah. And my mum was like NOO they were just dancing and my dad was like...you don't know how men think!! But I do!!! LMAO!! He was like Ni'i was "innocently" dancing and that guy cornered her for a good hour!! yeah!! the guy was drunk....and I swear I looked over to my dad and he wasn't really paying attention!! BUT REALLY!! he was ALL EYES SOMEHOW!!! LMAO!! Me and my mum just sat there laughing at him. His sort of right though! BUT yeah!

anyway!

The quiting is goin great LMAO!! but what I'm scared of is...what a I gonna say when my cousins offer me a smoke!! becaue I don't want anyone in the family to know I quit!! I don't know mayb I'll just say "My asthmas playing up" orrrr " I already had some" I have to talk shit!! LMAO!!

anyway
OML! He rang me again though. His nice...i think...well they all are when you first meet them! LoL!! I have made up my mind!!! GOSH!! why did I get myself into this mess!!! I'm not even the slightest bit interested in this guy!! I'm not good at rejecting!! Maybe give it a couple of days and I'll say I have a boyfriend!! HAHA!! I should've said I had one when he asked!!! GOSH!! GRRRRR!!! I was even hesitant to say NO i dnt have a boyfriend either LMAO!! buh i still said it!! STUPID CHICKEN BRAIN!!! anyway! Ima go back to my downloading music and writing up notes!

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Innocent till proven guilty

I swear I do my hair better then the hairdressers LoL! Farrr they jus ABOS!!...NEWAII!! I went to that ball tonight! Farr it started off real boring koz we wer wun of the first peeps there. I swear that's what I hate!!! being there first! Anyway the food was great! and so was the entertainment...so THUMB UP for that!!! buh farrr there was this old guy lyk 40 or sumfin hu kept starin at me and when I'd look at him he'd smile....Farr that put me off. I was so pissed off aye....But then he left and I eased up!!! AND OML!!! GUESS WAT?? there was this little boy right?? He was siiting on my table! Then all of the sudden I feel someones little hand rubbing my............................=P haha FOOT! I was lyk WTF!!!!! and his mum was like full appologisin buh i ddnt mind...it jus sorta shoked me. More like SPOOKED me!! anyway 10 minutes later he tried to lift my dress up....I just totally wanted to laugh because the little boy looked about 5,6,7!!! LMAO!! Anyway! It was dance time...Buh bro there was a band there??? and I was full chekin out the drummer LMAO!!

The band stop playing and we all started dancing! It was pretty funny because heaps of people were drunk!! It was just really funny!!....Well I was dancing with these girls and one of them brings the singer of the band, the drummer comes too! But he gets taken by this other chik while the singer started talking to me. Next thing I knew all the girls left except me, the singer, the drunk chik and the drummer. And I pretty much sorta got my freak on with the singer. MAANNNNN he can sing!! He was songin the songs while we were dancing. I lied to him!! told him I was 19! and that I go tafe!!! and a couple of songs later the drummer and drunk chick seperate and leave da dance floor! Me and the singer continue...Mind you he was abit drunk aye!! We just talked and grined and yeahh!!! and then the time came where I had to go! LMAO!! I told him the truth about me though. Told him how old I actually was and blah blah!!! Then he asked for my number!! This is where I made a mistake!!.....I gave it to him!!! SHUXX!! i dont know why!! Now I'm guilty as a mother fucker!!! I think about VITA!! and just feel stink! Even though were not going out!! WHY DO I FEEL STINK FOR??? and you know what?? He even rang me like half an hour ago...i mean the singer. But I was doin sumfin and told him to ring later!!! He hasn't rang. I don't know what to do with this guy! I don't wanna go out with him.....and I don't do hook ups!! And my hearts alredy somewhere else!! But I felt stink as on my way home!! I was just like thinking WHY THE FUCK DID I GIVE HIM THE NUMBER!!!! WWWHHHHHYYYYYY

Seriously should I feel guilty?? I'm not even taken I'm YIUNG FREE AND SINGLE =P but yet I still feel stink!! anyway! I'm tired it's like almost 3 in the morning!! I'm sleeping now

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Quiting Streak

It's been my fourth day of quiting or fifth I don't know I started monday...YOU do the math!!! LoL!! you know whats funny? I was doing my nails in the lounge and my dad was reading the paper, LoL and then he goes, Ni'i (thats my nik name) Listen to this. He read me this article from the newspaper about smoking and blah blah yeah you know those articles that try to persuade smokers to quit?? Yeah those ones. It's because none of my family accept my brother knows I quit LMAO!!! I don't want to tell anyone. Not any time soon at least! I don't ever want to tell them actually. I really don't care! LMAO!! It pisses me off when I tell them and they get realy scared every time I'm out!! Then they call me every half hour..."DON'T SMOKE Ni'I" Its just that I like to think that I quit for myself not because people want me to, including my parents! Well the truth is, one of my motivations is dance but the main one!! It's the fact that I might have a family of my own one day and it would be sad if I have this kid thats one years old and I die LMAO!! sounds funny but it happens!!! CANCER!! LoL!! w8 not funny!!! anyway I have to do my hair for a ball tonight! YIIIAAAAHH

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I'm missin you like you crazy

Farrr Well I miss juniour! Best friend!!....maybe not so much anymore! i dont know! i guess we are LoL! I just miss hanging with him! Aand talking about...in his case GIRLS...nd in my case...BOYS! lmao!! we had a convo about our love lifes haha....one that we haven't had in a long time!!! It jus made me realise how tight we actually were LoL! Well I explained to him that I'm trying to quit smoking...wel not trying!! I'm actually doing it! =D well yeah!

Ummm last night I went to T.I.P concert!! and it was awesome as hell!! Malia Ricky & Floral reppd Fairvale real well! I LOVED IT!!

Why do you hold on to me? Why have you not been able to let go? Or have you? Are you just playing around? I don't know...I don't know what to think, or how I'm suppose to feel. I think I'm just naive! Why would you want me back? What did I do for you to turn away last time?..What did I do to make you look back with regret? All these questions arrise in my mind! Question is...do you have the answers?...I know you do! Or are you just as lost and confused as I am. Why don't you let go? If you do I think I would too! Let go! and I will too! But then I don't want you to!

You know something? I've learnt to accept people for who they are. I'll tell you this, it's not easy. But you know what makes you not accept other people as they are? Your mind. The fact that your closed minded. (This is not for anyone LoL it's just in general and is extremely opinionated...by ME =D) Will stop you from being able to understand other people, no matter how difficult they may be. See were all different therefore you will have your differences! Keep the peace! If their the haters...let it be. Don't make it a big deal, because you'l stress over something that is a COMPLETE waste of time!....do you get what I'm on about??? Like farrr I don't know how to explain! It's simple! EVERY ONES different. It may be hard to accept people for who they are, but it won't take much effort. I SWEAR IT! My trick? keep it real with everyone. Don't T.S (Talk Shit) speacialybehind peoples backs! You got something on your mind? Say it to that actual person.HMM what else...haha nothing!!

Farrr I MISS CLAYMORE!!! I MISS MY FAMZ!!! I MISS THEM SO MUCH!! LIKE SO MUCH!! I MISS MY BROTHERS AND MY MUM =( I MISS THEM SO MUCH! LIKE SOO SOO SOO SOO SOOO MUUUUCCCCCHHHHHH. I wish I had time to come down! I want to SO BAD!! I miss my bro!! SOO MUCH!! Like seriously his my twin! hehehe! I'm so GLAD! I'm older then my brothers! They can't tell me what to do....even though they TRY! LMAO! I miss em:( miss em miss em miss em!!! I swear I MISS THEM SOOO MUCH!! haha get tha picture??? =P

anyway
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MONEY!

moneys a bitch...jus because I can't get my hands on enough! Seriously my mum, talks too much shit!!!
anyway! dnt have much tine to blog. I'm so nervous about this week seriously I need to do good!! I'm not so sure if I am ready for these assessments! Why do they have to be in class!!! :( why does practical have to be so technique based! Koz I have shyt technique LMAO! anyway! enjoy your night.

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Tears in heavan

Wow tonight was really different!

So much going on....with me personally and also with my family as a whole! Like I mean including all my kusins my aunties...EVERYONE!! right down to the extended family! I can't believe how big the problem is. I seriously cried I think about 7 times tonight LMAO!! But yeah my personal problem is NOTHING compared to the family one. It is actually quite interesting, but the problem has not ended quite yet. I am quite anxious on how it will all turn out.

Anyway I'll blog about my personal problem! LMAO!! its actually quite funny! But see? I hadn't had a smoke yesterday or today. So when I got home I was friken HANGING!! Bro I go to my mum do you have 10 bux and she goes no! So i go to my room and try to find something constructive! and I read the rest of "Life and crimes of Harry Lavender" and then I go to finish off my essay but could only think of how much I was craving for a smoke! So I was thinking of stealing money! I know...I get real desperate sometimes. But in the process of looking for my dads wallet I suddenly grew a concience so I stopped and went to the kitchen to get a drink. My mum goes to me..."Ihave the money but its for Howard and I only have enough for him" I tried to ignore the anger in me and walked away. But as soon as I got in my room I really just wated to argue how unfair that was. Because honestly.....my brother is 41 yeah I know old enough to be my dad but he works. My point being that he should have his own friken money. and if my mum has to give money it should be to me koz im not fuken alowed to get a job! My mum and I argued and stuff and my mum goes what do you want the money for anyway. I go to her "smokes" and she was just like NO!! NO WAY!! but i tried to pinpoint the problem back to my brother!! Didnt really work then my dad came into the lounge and heard me swearing and stuff LMAO!! and his like whats all the noise and my mum told my dad bowt how I asked her for money for smokes and he lectured me and I cried! And then my dad confesses to me how close I am to him because he didn't really get to know his own kids like he has to me!! BLAH!! I cried again LMAO!! and seriously I was just an emotional reck today! I was going to cry a couple of times at school! Which is why I didn't wanna hang out with the girls today....FAR!!! Friken emotional reck LMAO!! and you know what>??? Just the other day I was full thinking to myself how I haven't really cried this year...EVER!!! and then look what happens today. And then on top of that my cousins aunties and uncles come over and we just have this big emotional talk!! WOW!!! story of my life LMAO!! This day I will not forget. I am so happy right now! LMO!! hhaa!! I wanna quit smoking!! I think the day is tomorrow! I can do it. Espeacialy with the help of my girls I know they would be real happy to know that I finally want to quit. Because seriously their always lke when are you gonna quit. Or when I go for a smoke and come back their always like EWWWW GET LOST YOU STINK!!! hahaha!! gotta love the girls!! anyway I sorta miss them!! WEIRD!!! I have so much to tell them!! LMAO!! anyway Ima wash da dishes have a smoke shower and go to sleep. LMAO!! I will have a smoke tonight and smoke in the morning for the last time! I have said that alot of times. But it will be easy at school because none of my girls smoke! =D I am advantaged =D YIIIIAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

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