Monkey time

Well, today was interesting!

I had a weird dream. I did something last night. I think it was the right thing to do as well! But I can only wait to see how it will result!

Okay Best friends?

I knew it! Best friends, don't work out! Really they don't!
The whole bestfriend thing is just really a tittle. Then they go over board with how close they are like sisters!Well I've had many best friends actually! My first? Nazli...and look at us now! Were not that close no more. Though we still do talk!I can't remember what happened...nothing bad...we just drifted!Well yeah bestfriends come and go! They really do. I'm just saying this due to my own experiences.

My last best friend taught me a very valuable lesson.
you can't trust anyone, not even your bestfriend!
Mayb it was just her because I can trust alot of my friends!
But my bestfriend? I will never trust her again! She's just lucky I'm not an imature little shit! Anyway I'm going to avoid continuing because it's just getting me abit angry now!

This is exactly why I don't believe in the saying "Bro's before hoes". Meaning your friends come first before your boyfriend/girlfriend. See the thing is, boy/girlfriends may come in and out of your life, but so do your friends. Only bro's that you can put first is pretty much your family!

Anyway! I sense change in myself! Maybe the girls, and their influences! Just hope its change for the better! Well so far...it has been! I have not done work all day today! I guess I'm sort of taking a break! But I'm starting to feel the pressure and stresses of school. My assesments are finished too. I think because I still got music. See the thing is, I'm still really use to singing easy songs for music and ACEING it, just like that. But it;s not going to work this time. I have to fully sing my lungs out! But the thing is? My throat kills when I try! I need to practice! Farr It's making me really anxious because I don't want to lose my rank in the class. I've done well so far! I can't blow it. I seriously have never gotten a 'B' in practical assesments! I'm always up in the 'A' department. But now I'm at risk of getting a 'B' or even a 'C'. Like if this was english I would be quite happy with a 'B' but music?? I's just not on!

My friends are goin through some stuff. I can't get involved though! I mean I guess I could, but I don't like getting involved in other peoples problems! Sometimes I can't help it when their my friends! Just hope nothing happens that will make me want to get involved! I'm really just going to hold it in, because problems are so not worth it this year. The year that's most important for me! I don't feel like I'm doing enough though! I need to do more. I need to do better! Espeacially in music! STUFF getting a 'B' man FUCK THAT!! I think I would cry! I would be depressed literally.

English sucks! and Business I need to study hard! Retail? I need to do the work! and Dance? I need to keep progressing. I'm getting there in dance. Performance should get better ever since I quit smoking!

THREE WEEKS today! It's been three weeks since I've had a smoke! So! I'm going to keep it up!

I told my dad the other night. I full regreted it after! I'm glad he hasn't said anything about it! Because I don't want him saying anything about it! The one thing that helps me continue to quit? is the fact that I have said to myself that if I want to. I can go back to it after Dance HSC. But then I'm thinking all that effort thrown away. But then again it's for HSC, but it would benefit my lifestyle if I didn't smoke.

It really is hard! The habbit was fun! and it made me happy! I know it's all in the mind but yeah the mind prety much controls you! So what the hell am I going to do? Anyway! I know someone will be happy but anxious when they get my mail!

That is all