Its just emotions
Well, I'm sick! I'm sick of sick people! I have been blessed with the burden of taking care of one VERY sickly man (My dad) and my mum who likes to "play" sick!
And let me tell you this! After my parents? I NEVER EVER WANNA DEAL WITH SICK ELDERLY PEOPLE EVER AGAIN!
It's hard being in high school, HSC and all, with the fear of expecting the unexpected! I love going to school though! It saves me from going clinically insane! I also get to mingle with people my own age instead of just two oldies and one 40 year old who thinks their still 20!
School is sort of like my place of freedom. I know it sounds weird! But it's where you put a mask on and completely forget about shit at home, and worry about the...more....INTERESTING things in life *cough* Boys =P
Anyway!
All my life I have grown up with diabetes, heart problems and dialysis. Well at least that's what my dad has problems with! It almost feels like I've taken that journey of pain with him! Which I am fortunate to have been able to take that journey with him! None of his actuall biological kids know what its like for him. Neither does his wife (My mum) Like honestly...My mum likes to think she's really much more sick then my dad! Bro...she just tripping! Because she never been in hospital close to death! SOO...Yeah! But the thing is, although my dad has his own kids, none of them know him like I do! It burns me sometimes because they barely come to visit their father, and we only live like 10 to 20 mins drive away from each other! Man what if something happens? It burns me! Like, they know their dads a realy sick man, but yet they choose to take his presence for granted and stay away. I know its because of my mum! My mum is their step mum. In a way she's mine as well, she's my aunty actually. I understand that she can be abit off, but still. They should take advantage of the fact their dad is still alive! Man if he goes now, I don't give two fucking shits how this sounds BUT I would be the most affected. WHY? I'm stil young! WHY? Because I'm the one that woke up in the early hours of the morning to set up his dialysis. WHY? Because when SOME people don't make anything to eat, whilst knowing VERY well that I cant cook. I have to cook for him. WHY? Because ever since I was young I was involved in my dads medication and EVERYTHING! His needles, tablets, btw he takes an overboard amount of tablets. And his dialysis. I know other people in this world have much larger problems then this, but this is ME! wow does that sound selfish? ahhh not caring!
Anyway! there are alot of questions as to what I'm going to do when my dad passes. People are thinking I'll move back in with my biological parents. GUESS AGAIN PEOPLE! I know that my mother (aunty) can be abit off in the head and yeah she can just really get on your nerves, but the thing is, this lady raised me as her own ever since I was 9 months pretty much! And I know that NO ONE will ever love me like she does!! So I am saying right now, that if dad passes, I am NOT leaving her on her own! She may be hard to handle, but trust me! All the sht I've gone through in my younger years has made me a stronger person. AND ALSO! I'm use to her handicapness now =) People can't handle it because they're closed minded. You have to see that she is old, and she has MAJOR insecurities! When she steps out of place. You show her where she should be, FORCEFULLY! If you show her your fear of her, she will take advantage of that. I know this lady inside out, and just like her one and only son? I dont find her scary, she could scream and yell all she likes and it wont have an effect on me!
But I do understand where my dads kids are coming from. See imagine this. You have a mother and a father right? Your father is always out at sea, and it's just your siblings and your mother. All of a suddent Daddy dissapears, Mum dies and Daddy has a new wife. Him and his wife fly you down to Australia. His wife, tries to be your mum! Now I don't know abut you but if my biological father remarried, HELL TO THE FUCKING NO would I call her MUM! So I do see where their hatred for my mum comes from! And I honestly understand! But still, it shouldnt stop you from seeing your dad! I'll tell you this much, you would rather see him alive next to your step mum, then lifeless in a coffin and your heart filled with regret! But, I will say this! YOU PEOPLE FUCKING SHIT ME! I may not be his kid, we may not be blood at all. BUT I've been there for your father more then all of yous put together ALL SEVEN!! wait exclude Big Momma...I love her so CORRECTION!! ALL SIX OF YOUS. and yous are how many years older then me?? 40 +? YEAH I'm only 17!
Anyway! I think I'm done chucking my hissy fit!
On a more positive note:
I can't wait to perform tomorrow, although I'm just being back up singer, it is still an experience much needed!
Gentleman much (dont ask)
That is all
Take two
I will know copy my inspiring buddy Kathy and edit posts for the same particualr day instead of making New posts
I'll just change the colour! Looks gay though sort of aye haha
Anyway!
I need to stop being a bludger and wake up koz HSC is not far. My legs are cold, maybe I should wear long pants, thing is, I hate wearing long oants to bed, I like shorts! Its mo comfortable to me, weather its summer or winter! And funny thing is, I cant go sleep without a blanket even if its BOILING! I need th blanketcovering at least half my body HAHA! I dont know why! LOL
Anyway! I die to talk about Michael Jackson! But...DEPRESSING
Ummm....
I dont know I'm avoiding sleep at the moment! OML! I get to miss out on dance tomorrow. It's a good thing AND bad thing! Like I'm just ort of sick of dance but then I also really wanna finish major! SOO hopefully Miss gets to teach me in the last period of the triple. Good thing is, I dont have to go dance practice after school, koz my dancers not coming, koz the lucky cow gets to go overseas for French excursion! MAN!!
Apparently, according to Channy I should be sleeping!
Getting tired but dont wanna shut my eyes just yet! Actually I do!
Boys 2 men is like THE BEST! love em =)
That is all
And let me tell you this! After my parents? I NEVER EVER WANNA DEAL WITH SICK ELDERLY PEOPLE EVER AGAIN!
It's hard being in high school, HSC and all, with the fear of expecting the unexpected! I love going to school though! It saves me from going clinically insane! I also get to mingle with people my own age instead of just two oldies and one 40 year old who thinks their still 20!
School is sort of like my place of freedom. I know it sounds weird! But it's where you put a mask on and completely forget about shit at home, and worry about the...more....INTERESTING things in life *cough* Boys =P
Anyway!
All my life I have grown up with diabetes, heart problems and dialysis. Well at least that's what my dad has problems with! It almost feels like I've taken that journey of pain with him! Which I am fortunate to have been able to take that journey with him! None of his actuall biological kids know what its like for him. Neither does his wife (My mum) Like honestly...My mum likes to think she's really much more sick then my dad! Bro...she just tripping! Because she never been in hospital close to death! SOO...Yeah! But the thing is, although my dad has his own kids, none of them know him like I do! It burns me sometimes because they barely come to visit their father, and we only live like 10 to 20 mins drive away from each other! Man what if something happens? It burns me! Like, they know their dads a realy sick man, but yet they choose to take his presence for granted and stay away. I know its because of my mum! My mum is their step mum. In a way she's mine as well, she's my aunty actually. I understand that she can be abit off, but still. They should take advantage of the fact their dad is still alive! Man if he goes now, I don't give two fucking shits how this sounds BUT I would be the most affected. WHY? I'm stil young! WHY? Because I'm the one that woke up in the early hours of the morning to set up his dialysis. WHY? Because when SOME people don't make anything to eat, whilst knowing VERY well that I cant cook. I have to cook for him. WHY? Because ever since I was young I was involved in my dads medication and EVERYTHING! His needles, tablets, btw he takes an overboard amount of tablets. And his dialysis. I know other people in this world have much larger problems then this, but this is ME! wow does that sound selfish? ahhh not caring!
Anyway! there are alot of questions as to what I'm going to do when my dad passes. People are thinking I'll move back in with my biological parents. GUESS AGAIN PEOPLE! I know that my mother (aunty) can be abit off in the head and yeah she can just really get on your nerves, but the thing is, this lady raised me as her own ever since I was 9 months pretty much! And I know that NO ONE will ever love me like she does!! So I am saying right now, that if dad passes, I am NOT leaving her on her own! She may be hard to handle, but trust me! All the sht I've gone through in my younger years has made me a stronger person. AND ALSO! I'm use to her handicapness now =) People can't handle it because they're closed minded. You have to see that she is old, and she has MAJOR insecurities! When she steps out of place. You show her where she should be, FORCEFULLY! If you show her your fear of her, she will take advantage of that. I know this lady inside out, and just like her one and only son? I dont find her scary, she could scream and yell all she likes and it wont have an effect on me!
But I do understand where my dads kids are coming from. See imagine this. You have a mother and a father right? Your father is always out at sea, and it's just your siblings and your mother. All of a suddent Daddy dissapears, Mum dies and Daddy has a new wife. Him and his wife fly you down to Australia. His wife, tries to be your mum! Now I don't know abut you but if my biological father remarried, HELL TO THE FUCKING NO would I call her MUM! So I do see where their hatred for my mum comes from! And I honestly understand! But still, it shouldnt stop you from seeing your dad! I'll tell you this much, you would rather see him alive next to your step mum, then lifeless in a coffin and your heart filled with regret! But, I will say this! YOU PEOPLE FUCKING SHIT ME! I may not be his kid, we may not be blood at all. BUT I've been there for your father more then all of yous put together ALL SEVEN!! wait exclude Big Momma...I love her so CORRECTION!! ALL SIX OF YOUS. and yous are how many years older then me?? 40 +? YEAH I'm only 17!
Anyway! I think I'm done chucking my hissy fit!
On a more positive note:
I can't wait to perform tomorrow, although I'm just being back up singer, it is still an experience much needed!
Gentleman much (dont ask)
That is all
Take two
I will know copy my inspiring buddy Kathy and edit posts for the same particualr day instead of making New posts
I'll just change the colour! Looks gay though sort of aye haha
Anyway!
I need to stop being a bludger and wake up koz HSC is not far. My legs are cold, maybe I should wear long pants, thing is, I hate wearing long oants to bed, I like shorts! Its mo comfortable to me, weather its summer or winter! And funny thing is, I cant go sleep without a blanket even if its BOILING! I need th blanketcovering at least half my body HAHA! I dont know why! LOL
Anyway! I die to talk about Michael Jackson! But...DEPRESSING
Ummm....
I dont know I'm avoiding sleep at the moment! OML! I get to miss out on dance tomorrow. It's a good thing AND bad thing! Like I'm just ort of sick of dance but then I also really wanna finish major! SOO hopefully Miss gets to teach me in the last period of the triple. Good thing is, I dont have to go dance practice after school, koz my dancers not coming, koz the lucky cow gets to go overseas for French excursion! MAN!!
Apparently, according to Channy I should be sleeping!
Getting tired but dont wanna shut my eyes just yet! Actually I do!
Boys 2 men is like THE BEST! love em =)
That is all
Labels: smile
posted by Maniate ;) at
4:56 AM
1 Comments:
LOL. You love copying me ay?
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